Love & Ego Part 1

It is correct to consider ‘Ego’ to be the ‘Self’ or ‘I’ and egotism to be an overinflated view of ones self – so it is egotism really which is the joint subject of this article.

Either way it is this over inflated view of self that is most clearly evident when that view of self is challenged in the perception of the challenged!

Now we all have certain strong views we may well be liable to “defend to death”. I am not referring to this. I am referring to the person who, when talking of his own intellectual ability, is reputed to have said something like “I am never wrong! Oh no, I tell a lie; I was wrong once – it was once when I thought I was wrong, and I was right all along!”

Amusing as this is at first hearing, this attitude can be highly destructive over time in a relationship.

In a strong, positive relationship, both parties will be largely nurturing and solicitous of the needs of the other partner with minimal attention on the self!

When only one of the couple behave in this way, it can quickly become self effacing and repressive. But when both parties do it, the relationship flourishes as it mimics the early stages of most relationships and is colloquially referred to as “cloud nine”. From a technical viewpoint, the flows from each person are mostly outward, from each person to the other. But in reality most of us would have no problem in recognising this for what it is – Love!

Sadly this “state of grace” can easily be interrupted, as life inevitably intervenes with it’s problems, difficulties, temptations, financial, social and familial pressures.

Whenever this occurs, so the selflessness, the giving, the nurturing and as a consequence the love each has for the other will diminish and be in danger of being replaced, unless dealt with quickly, by a negative reaction of one or both parties, with the consequent upset and distress to both, and of course the rupture of the previous high quality relationship.

In view of the foregoing, we see that the more each partner can keep the other partner at the centre of their world, to that degree the relationship will continue to flourish and the couple will flourish with it!

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